The Well
From the desk of Pastor Mark DeLap
I AM the man at the well… because – I AM the post-resurrection fisherman. I AM the fleeing murderer at the Midianite well. I AM the man confronted by the prophet Nathan at Jerusalem because I took another man’s wife and sent her husband to his death. I Am the man released during a Passover festival in 33 AD. I AM the man who stole my brother’s birthright. I AM the man who failed to invest in his wife with a covering in Eden. I AM the man who held the coats of those who executed the first Christian martyr. I AM the man who judged and criticized and did not cover a multitude of sin with love – and failed to drop the stone outside of the temple courts. I AM the man who has broken every commandment.
I AM sitting at a well in shame because of years of mistakes and failed relationships and that is where He found me.
“For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.” – James 2:10
I am guilty of all.
So… it was not you reading this that came and found me, but it was the I AM (Exodus 3:14) who came and found me at my well of shame. Alone. I didn’t pray for Him to come. I didn’t ask Him to come. He left all those who were safe in flocks all through time and He came. Not to judge, not to criticize, not to pronounce a sentence of alienation or a path without purpose from that point forward. He did not come to make me a castaway. He came because He is a God who “devises means whereby His banished be not expelled.” (2 Samuel 14:14)
“Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:” -John 11:25
He said I would “live” – and not just exist. I would not quit trying. I would not stop ministering. I would obey the voice that tells me to “Feed His Sheep.” Because it was that voice that I heard at the well… and not yours. It would be HIS purpose that would come back to life in me. Not yours.
Do I wrestle with it? Did I go back fishing for shame so I could fillet my guilt and eat it every day of my life? Did I resist when He tried to simply give me a drink of “living” water? Did I think my sins were too great? Did I think His arm was too short (Numbers 11:23) that it could not save… recover… revive… restore?
If you are an outcast today… there is a promise. He says… ““Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.”
HE has come to your well to “REASON” with you.
From Jeremiah 30: (especially the highlighted words… is it you?
“…the days are coming,’ says the Lord, ‘that I will bring back from captivity My people Israel and Judah,’ says the Lord. ‘And I will cause them to return to the land that I gave to their fathers, and they shall possess it.’ ”
Now these are the words that the Lord spoke concerning Israel and Judah. (and you here today – seated at the well)
“For thus says the Lord: ‘We have heard a voice of trembling, Of fear, and not of peace. Ask now, and see,
Whether a man is ever in labor with child? (ARE YOU REBIRTHING YOUR MINISTRY?)
So why do I see every man with his hands on his loins – Like a woman in labor, And all faces turned pale?
The days are coming,’ (Even the religous judges can’t stop it) says the Lord, ‘that I will bring back from captivity My people Israel and Judah,’ says the Lord. ‘And I will cause them to return to the land that I gave to their fathers, and they shall possess it.’ ”
Alas! For that day is great,
So that none is like it;
And it is the time of Jacob’s trouble,
But he shall be saved out of it.
‘For it shall come to pass in that day,’
Says the Lord of hosts,
‘That I will break his yoke from your neck,
And will burst your bonds;
Foreigners shall no more enslave them.
But they shall serve the Lord their God,
And David their king,
Whom I will raise up for them.
‘Therefore do not fear, O My servant Jacob,’ says the Lord,
‘Nor be dismayed, O Israel;
For behold, I will save you from afar,
And your seed from the land of their captivity.
Jacob shall return, have rest and be quiet,
And no one shall make him afraid.
For I am with you,’ says the Lord, ‘to save you;
Though I make a full end of all nations where I have scattered you,
Yet I will not make a complete end of you.
But I will correct you in justice,
And will not let you go altogether unpunished.’
“For thus says the Lord:
‘Your affliction is incurable,
Your wound is severe.
There is no one to plead your cause,
That you may be bound up;
You have no healing medicines.
All your lovers have forgotten you;
They do not seek you;
For I have wounded you with the wound of an enemy,
With the chastisement of a cruel one,
For the multitude of your iniquities,
Because your sins have increased.
Why do you cry about your affliction?
Your sorrow is incurable.
Because of the multitude of your iniquities,
Because your sins have increased,
I have done these things to you.
‘Therefore all those who devour you shall be devoured;
And all your adversaries, every one of them, shall go into captivity;
Those who plunder you shall become plunder,
And all who prey upon you I will make a prey.
For I will restore health to you
And heal you of your wounds,’ says the Lord,
‘Because they called you an outcast saying:
“This is Zion;
No one seeks her.” ’
“Thus says the Lord:
‘Behold, I will bring back the captivity of Jacob’s tents,
And have mercy on his dwelling places;
The city shall be built upon its own mound,
And the palace shall remain according to its own plan.
Then out of them shall proceed thanksgiving
And the voice of those who make merry;
I will multiply them, and they shall not diminish;
I will also glorify them, and they shall not be small.
Their children also shall be as before,
And their congregation shall be established before Me;
And I will punish all who oppress them.
Their nobles shall be from among them,
And their governor shall come from their midst;
Then I will cause him to draw near,
And he shall approach Me;
For who is this who pledged his heart to approach Me?’ says the Lord. ‘You shall be My people,
And I will be your God.’ ”
Behold, the whirlwind of the Lord
Goes forth with fury,
A continuing whirlwind;
It will fall violently on the head of the wicked.
The fierce anger of the Lord will not return until He has done it,
And until He has performed the intents of His heart. In the latter days you will consider it.”
In the New Testament, Christ who came to restore all things… sends Peter back into ministry: “Peter… do you love me? Then follow me. Obey my voice. Feed my sheep.”
The question in our minds… “What if I can’t stay dead, solid, perfect? What if I fail… again? What if I betray him again?” Do I want to put up with all the judges and all the hassle? And quite simply… your life is a process – but HE reminded us in scripture…
“being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;” Philippians 1:6. IT IS NOT YOUR WORK TO FINISH.
But… you have to be willing to go through it all… because He did it all for you.
Why do I continue to minister? Ask Peter… no… better yet… ASK the I AM.
Bottom line: remember the reasoning – From Scarlet to Snow.
(THIS IS AN ONGOING TESTIMONY… to be continued. Tune in for updates and revelations)
{~}
So… How have I changed? What stories do my eyes tell at different points of my life?
(I use Stockcake images to help me with my transformation in this story)
What do I wrestle with?
I know I was called at a young age to be in ministry. I did it for many years and to sound a bit cliche’ – “I wish I’d known then what I know now.” I’d be better now. I’ve learned so many things since I first started. I’ve been delivered of so many things since then. Things that hindered me as a man and as a man in ministry. And about a million miles yet to go before I feel as if I would ever go back.
So I wrestle with some of the same things that Peter wrestled with on the Tiberian shore in John 21. Jesus came to find them again on Galilee. They were fishing. They felt as if they had failed in ministry – so they went back to one of the only things that they knew could sustain them. Perhaps it was a place where they didn’t have to answer any questions concerning the decisions they made in their past.
Perhaps they didn’t want to answer to man. Perhaps they just didn’t want the hassle. Ironic knowing what Christ had recently gone through in his ministry.
The Apostle Peter wrote about his own shortcomings primarily in his New Testament epistles, 1 Peter and 2 Peter. Through these letters, he openly addressed past failures and shared practical lessons on remaining steadfast during hardship, such as in I Peter 5:7-8, where he reflects on overcoming anxiety and watching out for the devil.
The primary accounts detailing his shortcomings include:
- Denying Jesus: All four Gospels detail how Peter denied even knowing Christ three times following Jesus’ arrest, an event Peter wept bitterly over when he realized his failure.
- The “Get behind me, Satan” Rebuke: When Peter tried to stop Jesus from going to the cross, Jesus famously rebuked him for acting as a stumbling block rather than focusing on God’s plan (Matthew 16:22-23).
- Failing to Stay Awake: During Jesus’ final night in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus asked Peter to stay awake and pray, but Peter fell asleep multiple times, highlighting the struggle of the “flesh”.
- Sinking on the Water: When Peter stepped out of the boat to walk on water toward Jesus, he took his eyes off Him, panicked, and began to sink (Matthew 14:28-30).
- Conflict at Antioch: In Galatians 2:11-14, the Apostle Paul famously recounts how Peter temporarily pulled back from eating with Gentile believers out of fear of what others might think.
Just as I am. A man worried too much about what people will think of me. I have a hard time remembering that the woman at the well went forth to evangelize in spite of what her past entailed – to a people who knew her and her past very well.
Pastor John Bevere said something that has really stuck with me.
“Peter’s failure didn’t disqualify him. It prepared him.
“After denying Jesus, he was shaken but not destroyed. (Luke 22:54-62) Why? Because beneath the weakness, there was still a foundation. His revelation of who Jesus truly was. How sturdy are your convictions, and how assured are your beliefs? Are they God-centered or founded in your own willpower? Sometimes the shaking is what makes space for grace. Brokenness isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of transformation.”
Pastor Jentzen Franklin said, “Romans 11:29 states: “For God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.”
(This verse means that once God bestows a spiritual gift or places a calling on your life, He will never change His mind or take it back.)
Key Takeaways:
- Unchanging Nature: God does not regret His choices. Your mistakes, detours, or seasons of doubt do not cancel out the purpose He has placed on you.
- Context: The Apostle Paul wrote this in the context of God’s enduring promises to Israel. Even when people stray, God’s ultimate plan and grace remain steadfast.
- Application: You are encouraged to walk confidently in your identity and purpose, knowing that God’s empowerment is permanent.
Peter didn’t beg for Jesus to come find him again. In fact, he never thought it was a possibility. But Christ did come again to find him. At the tomb he told the women, “Go tell my disciples… AND PETER.” That he was alive and that he was heading to Galilee to see them all again.
So, when Peter showed up, of course Peter especially was beside himself, but here we see a very sad portion of scripture by Peter’s response.
“Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he girt his fisher’s coat unto him, (for he was naked,) and did cast himself into the sea. – John 21:7
He felt that he had to put on a coat. A garment made of animal skin: “A 1st-century fisherman’s coat in Jesus’ time was a heavy, square outer cloak called a himation. It was typically woven from coarse sheep’s wool for warmth during chilly nights on the Sea of Galilee.”
Look at that again. He thought the only way he could come to God was by wearing the same animal skins that covered Adam & Eve in the garden. Symbolizing a covering of sin. It wasn’t IN Peter yet that animal sacrifice for sin was no longer needed or accepted.
And the other disciples who never took the chance to walk on water, “followed in little ships dragging the net with fishes. Also… a great teaching about what we drag behind from the world that slows us down. And stops some of us.
This encounter was the third time Jesus showed himself to them. It took a while for them to get over themselves, forgive themselves and follow Him again.
In fact, Jesus had to address Peter personally because perhaps he was the farthest from coming going back to his purpose. Three times the Lord asked Peter… “Do you love me more than these?” I believe that Peter knew the inferance. Do you love me more than you love the world? Do you love me more than you love your own life – the life you once said you would give up for me? Do you love me more than you love yourself?
It’s tough though. I’ve been there. I decided to “go a fishin'” – and fished for 10 years. He came and found me several times during that time, but I couldn’t find my way to love Him more than I loved my own purpose. And now, if offered the opportunity to minister again… would I? Have I come to understand that the calling of God is greater than my sins? I have learned that all ministry expectations fail when you can’t forget to exploits of disobedience and debauchery.
And then there is hearing the echoes of church leaders. How many times have you been divorced? (Funny that if sins are the same, how they don’t ask how many times I’ve lied or cheated or betrayed Him)
I’ve learned that after an awakening… after a revival of the soul… after a repentence of the heart and a directional change toward home, they don’t ask you to minister. Oh, they want you to sit in their churches in continual remembrance of your past until they can credit for your restoration.
After 10 years in the courts of the Lord’s learning – I do believe in His restoration.
In any event… I know that Peter was in the upper room hiding in secret closets of prayer. For him to throw open the balcony doors and preach what he preached to a crowd that knew his past and knew his temperment… well… that took all the anointing he could muster.
And he found he was not standing up to an angry crowd. He was standing up to his own fear and realizing that his past was not greater or more powerful than his purpose. It was the action of a man who didn’t just say, “Lord I love you,” but proved it with his actions.
If you are reading this… hiding in a closet of prayer, you’re in a good place – and soon you will come to KNOW that your past did not disqualify you from your purpose. The only thing that can do that is the direction of your soul that has learned to walk away.
Who was Moses? Just a man who didn’t believe in himself. Who was David? Just a boy who drew from the Bethlehem well to water his sheep. Who was Esther? Just an unknown Jewish handmaid. You may think yourself unqualified, or disqualified – such as Peter and Photini (woman at the well… well… they both became Saints.)
God uses the unqualified. He goes looking for those who have disqualified themselves. He uses the ordinary to do extraordinary things.
I am only an ordinary man who disqualified himself from the journey and there at the well.. Jesus came and found me.
